Tuesday, October 7, 2008

No anchovies please

Dear Pink Scooter Dude,

Dominos called last night to inform us they were unable to put anchovies on our Hawaiian pizza. I think you know what happened next. I informed Mr. Domino that although my taste buds are perhaps more open to unusual flavors than other people, Hawaiian Pizza with anchovies is one concoction they will never come to know. I apologized for the charade you pulled with that scheming little friend of yours, and am pleased to report the two of you have been blacklisted at every Domino's from here to Timbuktu. The same goes for Papa John's and Mr. Gatti's, whose delivery boys had to be sent away without a tip. And so, to protect the well being of the American Society of Pizza Delivery Boys, we made a special phone call to the following establishments:

Pizza Hut
Little Caesars
Pizza Planet
Double Dave's
Star Pizza
Frank's Pizza
Roman's Pizza
California Pizza Kitchen
Antonio's Flying Pizza
Biba's Greek Pizza
Barry's Pizza and Italian Diner
Cici's Pizza
Gotham Pizza
New York Pizzeria
Spanky's Pizza
Fuzzy's Pizza and Cafe
Late Nite Pie
Collina's Italian Cafe
Sicily Pizza and Pasta
Pinks Pizza
Pizza Inn
Villa Roma Pizza
Pizza Patron
Spaghetti Western Italian Cafe
Godfather's Pizza
Napoli Flying Pizza
Palios Pizza and Italian Food
Johnny's Pizza
and YOUR MOM'S PIZZA



Don't think you can get away with buying a frozen DiGiorno. The grocery stores are on the lookout too. Your name haunts pizza makers everywhere. Every time they hear a moped, they clutch their rolling pins and tremble.

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